Trip planning with teens
When we asked 13 year-old daughter what kinds of things she’d like to see and do in England – she replied, “I want to see the British version of Taco Bell, and Big Ben.”
We looked at each other and then kindly excused her from the planning committee. The mission to broaden her horizons was more critical than we had initially imagined!
We leave tomorrow for England…with a teenager!
This trip will be her first time out of the country and while it’s not the most challenging trip it will be a good introduction to ‘the other’ and hopefully open her head up to the idea of a bigger world.
The Middle School years have been hard on her (and us). We want to create a dynamic, strong and resilient woman so we’ve got to start providing her some stimulus that lets her start building an identity as member of a much larger and more diverse tribe.
Neither us of expect the trip to go flawlessly – even with our parental cautions and warnings to monitor and manage her own emotional states and negativity we knew there would be some ups and downs.
When reviewing our tactics and strategies for helping her with the trip Kaety flippantly said, “It can’t be worse than taking an 18-month old armed with plastic forks on a 6-hour flight to Hawaii?”
I just looked at her and shook my head and recalled something a friend often says in a tone of dark sage humour, “Bigger kids, bigger problems”
But concerns aside, when has a little discomfort ever stopped us from travelling!! We were all in, and we were taking the amazing, developing, beautiful, sassy, difficult teenager with us to explore a new land.
Tips for trip planning with teens:
Have your teen participate in the planning and itinerary building, but be thoughtful that they only references points they may have for contributing to the planning will be TV and Movies. Don't shut it down. There are lots of places where their favorite movies were filmed that are also fantastic historic sites. You can sneak a little history into their TV diet. England has scads of Harry Potter filming sites that are pretty amazing and are their very own destinations.
Comparing something they know to something new is developmentally an easy step for teens. If they love chocolate, then they will be curious to try English Chocolate. If they love Taco Bell…well, good luck find Taco Bell in England, but still, you see where I’m going with that. They may be excited about some things that you find really trivial and stupid. Don’t shut it down or make fun of it. They are slowly climbing the ladder they know - let them do it in their own way.
If they don’t have it already, get them their own luggage. Something they can handle and carry on their own. Let them put stickers on it and make it their own. This will likely be a bag that stays with them for a chunk of their lives, so give them a sense of ownership and pride in travel through the luggage.
Packing will be very challenging for a teen. They don’t know what they need, how comfortable they will be, what social expectations travel will confront them with. They are often significantly challenged knowing what to wear at home, let alone another country. Packing is going to be a discussion process. Encourage them to leave room in their suitcases for the treasures they will find on their journey. That excitement should help you keep the overpacking argument at bay.
Show them pictures of where they will be staying and what they will be seeing. Have them watch Youtube movies. Teens are creatures of habit, and the more they can see and acclimate to something unknown the more willing they will be to engage it.
For teens that are anxious and control oriented, have them help you calculate travel times from locations. Have them use Google Street view in Google Maps to find restaurants nearby your lodgings. Let them build some sense of power through information. The very best thing for a teen’s development is that they are able to lead the family in some sort of activity. Food seeking is a great activity. Let them be an ‘expert’ in some part of the trip.
